learning from James

So i have been getting into the book of James a lot recently. Specifically for our summer camp. We are going to be going through the book... looking at the trials in our life, how we destroy our community with favoritism and our tongue, and how to connect our faith with our actions, and that we should treat people with the same type of mercy we recieve from God. This book is truly amazing. I get excited about the idea of students being able to look at their actions, judging themselves and seeing that they need God's grace. I honestly cannot wait for camp. God always works in students lives in unique ways. All that said... that is not why i wanted to post.
While reading James i became incredibly convicted. In ch. 2 he writes that a man who reads the bible but fails to do it is like a man who looks at the mirror and forgets what he looks like. Basically, a complete concieted self-decieved hypocrite of a person. I usually read this and think it describes people who hear the gospel but don't respond. Suddenly i realized this is describing me. I know a ton about the bible. I mean part of my job is to spend time reading it, studying it, reading books about it, and i have had extensive classes about it. I say that not as a point of boasting but of how rediculous my heart becomes. I know God tells me to love my neighbor, to love my wife sacrificially, to help the poor, and to be wise with my time. Yet, i continue to find excuses for why it doesn't apply to me in my circumstance. My neighbors are much older then me and we don't have much in common, Courtney should be considering my needs since i had the harder day (at least in my eyes), someone else will help them and i am committed to helping middle schoolers (doesn't that get me off the hook), i need to rest (even though i just spend the time surfing the internet, watching tv, or playing games). I know the simple truths and commands of the Bible yet i always seem to try to weasel my way out. I decieve myself.
I hope that i can lay asside my Biblical training and simply obey. I don't want to be intellectually "blameless" while in reality, guilty of sin by failing to do what is right.
I am excited about James this summer. I took it on for the purpose of teaching others, but God is currently putting me through the ringer and showing me my own heart.
-rob